Why Every Woman Should Be Using Lube

You Only Get One Vagina. Take Care of It.

You moisturize your face. You put lotion on your body. You condition your hair. We spend all kinds of time and money taking care of our skin and the rest of our bodies, so why do we act like taking care of our vagina should be any different?

Somewhere along the way, women were taught that needing lube meant something was wrong. Maybe you weren't turned on enough. Maybe you're getting older. Maybe your partner isn't doing their job.

Nope.

Lube is for anyone with a vagina, at any age.

Natural lubrication can change from day to day and throughout your life. Stress, hormones, medications, breastfeeding, your menstrual cycle, perimenopause, menopause, and plenty of other things can affect how much lubrication your body produces.

And here's the other thing: you can be completely turned on and still not be as naturally lubricated as you'd like.

Wetness is not a perfect measurement of desire.

Lube Isn't Just for Sex

When I say "use lube," I'm not only talking about penis-in-vagina sex.

Think about everything we insert into a vagina throughout our lives: fingers, toys, tampons, menstrual cups, pelvic floor products... the list goes on.

Any time you're inserting something, a little lubricant can help reduce friction and make insertion more comfortable. You don't have to wait until you're dry, sore, or uncomfortable before reaching for it.

That's actually one of the biggest mindset changes I want women to make.

Lube isn't something you use because there's a problem. It's something you use because you want to take care of your body.

And apparently, plenty of women have already figured that out. A nationally representative U.S. study found that 65.5% of adult women surveyed had used a commercial lubricant at some point, and their most common reasons included making sex more comfortable, more pleasurable, and more fun.

Friction Is Not Your Vagina's Friend

The vagina is pretty amazing, but the tissue is also sensitive. When there's not enough lubrication, friction can lead to irritation, soreness, and sometimes small tears.

This becomes especially important as we age. During and after the menopause transition, declining estrogen can make vaginal tissue thinner, drier, and less elastic. The Menopause Society notes that these changes can sometimes lead to tearing and bleeding with vaginal penetration.

That's not meant to scare you. It's exactly why I talk about lube so much.

If something as simple as adding lubricant can reduce friction and make the experience more comfortable, why wouldn't we use it?

Sex is supposed to be pleasurable. Using a toy is supposed to feel good. Even putting in a tampon shouldn't feel like you're fighting with your own body.

"But I Make My Own Lubrication..."

Great!

Use lube anyway.

Natural lubrication and bottled lubricant don't have to be an either/or situation.

You can start out plenty wet and still become drier during sex. Lubrication gets moved around, transferred to skin, toys, condoms, and bedding, and sometimes you simply need more.

So add more.

Seriously. 😂

There is no trophy waiting at the end because you managed to have sex without reaching for the lube bottle.

A large prospective study followed 2,453 women for five weeks and found that using water- or silicone-based lubricant was associated with significantly higher ratings of sexual pleasure and satisfaction during sexual activity.

Another study found women generally preferred sex to feel wetter and reported feeling that they could orgasm more easily when sex was wetter.

So we're not just talking about fixing dryness.

We're talking about pleasure.

Your Body Changes, and Your Lube Drawer May Need to Change With It

What worked for your body at 25 may not be what it needs at 35, 45, 55, or 65.

During perimenopause and menopause, estrogen levels decline. That can reduce vaginal secretions and natural lubrication while also making vaginal tissue thinner and less elastic.

If you've suddenly noticed that sex feels drier or more uncomfortable than it used to, don't automatically assume you're less attracted to your partner or that your sex life is disappearing.

Your body may simply need something different now.

The Menopause Society specifically recommends lubricants as one option for reducing friction and discomfort related to vaginal dryness during sexual activity.

And this isn't only a menopause conversation. Vaginal dryness can affect women of different ages, and research has found lubricant use can help some women reduce discomfort while also enhancing sexual experiences.

Not All Lube Is Created Equal

Now, this is where we could go down an entire rabbit hole because there are water-based lubes, silicone lubes, hybrids, creamy formulas, oil-based products, warming formulas, flavored products... and they don't all serve the same purpose.

That's another blog for another day. 😂

For this conversation, here's what I want you to remember:

Pay attention to what you're putting in your vagina.

For vaginal use, pH matters. The World Health Organization notes that the healthy vagina is normally acidic and identifies a pH around 4.5 as preferable for vaginal lubricants in its guidance. It also considers other characteristics, including osmolality, because lubricant formulations can interact differently with delicate tissue.

So don't grab something just because the bottle is cute or because it smells like cupcakes.

Read the ingredients. Choose something designed for vaginal use. Look for a quality formula appropriate for what you're doing and pay attention to how your body responds.

Your vagina will let you know when she doesn't like something. 😂

Pleasure Is Part of the Conversation Too

Sometimes we talk about lube like its only job is preventing discomfort.

That's selling it short.

Comfort and pleasure go together.

The World Health Organization recognizes lubricants as part of sexual health and well-being and notes that people of all ages may choose them to make sexual activity easier and more comfortable.

And remember that study of more than 2,400 women? Lubricant wasn't merely tolerated. Its use was associated with greater sexual pleasure and satisfaction.

Sex is meant to feel good.

You don't get extra points for suffering through friction, dryness, or discomfort because you think your body "should" be producing enough lubrication on its own.

If adding a little lube makes something feel better, ADD THE LUBE.

Quick Tips

• Don't wait until you're uncomfortable to reach for lubricant.
• Reapply whenever you need more. There is no "correct" amount.
• Natural lubrication doesn't mean you can't benefit from additional lube.
• Use lubricant with fingers, toys, and other vaginal insertion when it improves comfort—not just during intercourse.
• Choose a lubricant intended for vaginal use and pay attention to its ingredients and pH.
• If vaginal dryness, tearing, bleeding, burning, or painful sex keeps happening, talk with your healthcare provider. Lube can help with friction, but persistent symptoms deserve proper evaluation.

You Only Get One. Treat Her Well.

Your vagina will change throughout your life. What she needs today may not be what she needed ten years ago—and that's okay.

Using lubricant doesn't mean your body failed. It doesn't mean you're old. It doesn't mean you aren't attracted to your partner, and it certainly doesn't mean there's anything embarrassing about your sex life.

It means you're taking care of your body.

We moisturize practically everything else.

Your vagina deserves a little love too.

 

 

 

Sources & Further Reading

1. Herbenick D, et al. The Journal of Sexual Medicine. Study on lubricant use and women's sexual pleasure and satisfaction.
2. The Menopause Society. Sexual Health & Menopause.
3. World Health Organization. Guidance on personal lubricants.